


there’s divinity, but i don’t know where

by Jaybird_Wings



Series: what is a goddess to me (i'm trying to win) [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Disassociation, Gen, Identity Issues, Loss of Identity, angst warning i guess this is a kids show after all, just my take on the she-ra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 11:55:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16892130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaybird_Wings/pseuds/Jaybird_Wings
Summary: Adora was not She-ra, and people confused that.





	there’s divinity, but i don’t know where

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted on tumblr
> 
> (I know I have other stuff to write but I binged She-ra ughughguhg I also have something I want to finish and post but it's at like 10,000 words and not close to done so rip take this from me)

        Adora was not She-ra, and people confused that.

        It wasn’t like two people in her head, because Adora was Adora, but there was also something that just felt so foreign in what was living and breathing as She-ra. Something that made her feel like an inhibitor of something bigger.

        There was a delay in her between what she wanted and what She-ra did. It was sometimes terrifyingly easy to confuse who wanted what. She-ra wanted victory of light. Adora wanted to help her friends. Those two were fundamentally different and would clash from time to time.  
What people didn’t always understand was that Adora felt like she was just beneath the water of a pond, looking up to something hazy. Each time she became She-ra she went a little deeper into that pond.  
She-ra wasn’t her. But she promised to help the rebellion, and the Horde taught her to hide fear. To follow the closest path of victory. Or, did She-ra believe that?

        Bow and Glimmer could hug She-ra, and the complete emptiness the princess felt was hollowing.  
People liked She-ra better than Adora, but honestly the princess terrified her sometimes.

 

        And some people did get that, yeah, they were not the same.

        Or, they assumed to. Some people just loved She-ra and admired the hero but the moment they see how human she was- how she was just some ejected filth from the Horde- they scowled in disgust.

        There was just something so disappointing in seeing a goddess turn into a person.

        Adora just felt so disconnected whenever she called upon the powers of the sword. Yeah, she spoke and could command things but it felt like she was talking to something else to do things, not like she was acting on her own.  
In the beginning it was great. She didn’t have the be Adora the traitor- it was just Adora and that princess who was against everything Adora stood for. As time passed, though, it got confusing. She’d see Glimmer get hurt in a fight and She-ra didn’t care. But Adora did.  
She-ra was just some goddess of power who didn’t care about people. She cared about the good of the world with he weight of the fate of everything being carrying on her shoulders. Adora wanted to hold onto everything.

        She can feel the tug and pull overtime she transformed, and it was obvious that one day she was going to have to choose. She couldn’t be both. Adora wouldn’t get to exist, she can’t be so selfish as to give up the princess of power and the hopes of everyone. One day she’d have to let go of her friends-

        Let go of Catra.

        But not right now. Adora wanted to relish in life that existed outside of the Horde. Everything was so light and painless. For now she would hold on because she had friends to protect.

        She can’t become Mara, though. Mara failed the universe and doomed it for hundreds upon hundreds of years. She wouldn’t fail like Mara.

        Adora breathes, because one day all she’ll do is choke on the divinity of She-ra, like a stream of water building in her chest.  
For now, she breathes and it’s her choice to breathe and smile.


End file.
